What WOULD Joni Do?

Random thoughts and other ramblings

Saturday, December 31, 2005

Last Post of 2005

Well, 2005 is basically over now.

And boy am I glad.

This year has been a year of walls. Walls I can't seem to get through or past. Not to say there hasn't been some joy and good for me. I've lost a lot of weight and gotten healthier, I've made it through with no major losses, I've got a family that loves me, been on some great vacations, still have a job. So you know, not a bad year in the whole scheme of things.

But for some reason - every major thing I wanted to accomplish in 2005 did not happen. Didn't sell my house. Didn't move into the new house. Didn't get a better job. Didn't make more money. Didn't find the great love of my life, don't have a better plan for my future, didn't read all those books I wanted to, didn't write like I wanted to.

Heck, even with my weight loss, which has been significant, I missed my goal for the year by 2 pounds. So, 2 pounds doesn't seem like a lot, especially when one has lost over 80 pounds in a year (114 overall). But see, I've been 2 pounds away from a symbolic place for the last two months. And no matter what I do, I can't get to that point. Even if I make it to that point, I still have a lot of weight to go, but dammit - that achievement, like all the others I aspired to this year, remained just out of my reach. Like it was taunting me or something.

Sure, I've had opportunities arise, but they've never completely come through for me. The new house that I was supposed to move into back in March or April was delayed time and again, first by illness (the builders), then by some zoning issues, then by rain which prevented a foundation from being laid. I'll be lucky if I get in by the end of this coming February - and that relies a lot on selling my current house and still being able to get the loan approved after taking my second pay cut in a year. I've had half the population of Atlanta tour my home, but every offer has been way too low - again, as if I'm being taunted. I've had 4 interviews (2 of which I was told I was the 2nd choice, but to feel good as 80+ people had applied and at least I made it that far.) Even had an interesting blip on the romance front, but it is looking more and more like he is a total flake. And that he even made it into the realm of consideration makes me feel like I'm starting to let myself think about just settling for a person, as opposed to finding "the one."

My aunt was an astrologer, and she would have had a great explanation for all of this... this.. I don't know, waiting? Not quite making it? Close but no cigar place I seem to find myself. Damn I miss her. So, without her guidance, without a clear view, I need to figure out on my own, just what this all meant, what it taught me, and how I'm gonna break through it all.

Wish me luck.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

I kind of like this one

Now, if I only had the cash to quit my job and go back to school, and still be able to afford the lifestyle I'd like to become accustomed to.

You Should Get a PhD in Liberal Arts (like political science, literature, or philosophy)

You're a great thinker and a true philosopher.
You'd make a talented professor or writer.

Monday, December 26, 2005

I've been bad.....

very, very bad.

I woke up this morning very early, and I went to the after Christmas sales at Target and Pier 1. So, if anyone needs any Christmas wrapping paper, say, for like the next 14 years, just call me.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

And so this is Christmas

so Quizzes for everyone.....

Your Elf Name Is...

Floppy Sweet Cheeks

Your Christmas Song Is

Happy Xmas (War Is Over)

And so this is xmas
For weak and for strong
For rich and the poor ones
The world is so wrong

You would gladly give up all of your material Christmas gifts...
If it meant peace for a few more people

You Are Socks!

Cozy and warm... but easily lost.
You make a good puppet.

You Are a Minimal Christmas Tree

You're not a total Scrooge, but you feel no need to go overboard at Christmas.
Less is more, and your Christmas reflects refined quality.

Your Christmas is Most Like: A Charlie Brown Christmas

Each year, you really get into the spirit of Christmas.
Which is much more important to you than nifty presents.

and to all a good night.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Joni's Pet Peeve of the Day

What is it about a For Sale sign in front of a house that makes people illiterate?

I am currently trying to sell my house so I can buy another one. A dear friend of mine is a real estate agent and he has my house listed, complete with instructions on both the listing information and the sign in the front yard that says, "Shown by Appointment Only." Apparently, some non-real estate agent people read that to mean - "OK to peak in the windows." I can not tell you the number of times I'm been sitting in my den, in some cases - not fully clothed - and I sort of feel like somebody's watching me (woo hoo - 80's song reference!) and as I turn toward the windows that are next to my front door - I see that there are idiots looking in on me. They never seem startled or embarrassed to have been caught, and they continue to look at me as I begin to sink lower and lower into my easy chair. Oddly, they always appear to be either Asian or Latino - don't know why, maybe they couldn't read the sign - but it would seem to me that in any language or culture, it would be considered rude to peep through people's windows at them while they are watching Tivo in their PJs.

While I might be willing to give some non-English reading, non-real estate professionals a break on this, the people I really want to strangle are the real estate agents that think that having a key to a lock box is their invitation to go into any house they want to, at any time they want to. Now maybe I'm spoiled, but my friend and real estate agent Scott is like the most professional agent anywhere. Scott would never just go into someone's home all willy-nilly. (There are some things Scott would do all willy-nilly, but that is for another post, another time.) Aside from being a professional, Scott wouldn't want to be shot by some homeowner that thinks they are being broken into.

But not these other idiots. I've had calls from my alarm company that my alarm is going off and they are sending the police, only to find some idiot agent has broken in while I'm at work. And then, they have the nerve to act all mad about that. Like I did something wrong. One even had the nerve to leave a message for Scott, fussing at him for what happened. When Scott reminded him that it was "By Appointment Only" this mental giant advised that he rang the door bell and no one answered, so he figured it was OK to break in so what was the big deal? Scott told him that aside from the INSTRUCTIONS telling you to make an appointment - maybe the house was not currently suitable to be shown (i.e. - house is messy, bed not made, underwear in the floor). Or, I could have been in the shower, or having sex (hahaha) or maybe even didn't feel like having company so I didn't answer. Either way, he was lucky he wasn't shot or attacked by dogs, cause you never know what you're gonna find when you break into someone's home unannounced.

So, hopefully, we'll get this baby sold before the new one is ready, and hopefully, no stupid house hunters or real estate agents will be killed or mauled in the process.

Keep your fingers crossed.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Where's an armed Air Marshall when you need one?

I flew out of LAX late last evening. Having been - I don't know - not in a coma for the last 10 years, I am aware that a lot of people travel out of LAX, so I plan to arrive a little before 10:00 for a 11:30 departure, allowing myself what should be sufficient time to get checked in, clear security, and walk to the gate. Additionally, my cousin-in-law, also not being in a coma for the last 10 years and having lived in LA for several years, is aware that there is a lot of traffic in LA. Hell, I don't even live in LA and I know they have a lot of traffic. Basically, if you've watched TV or movies or read a newspaper or magazine or something in the last several years, you probably have an inkling of that, as well as there being potential long lines at security in busy airports. So, between the two of us being able to think and rationalize like grown ups, I make it to the airport about 9:30.

After quickly checking in at the kiosk, I went to get in line for the security check. It is approximately 9:40. The security line was incredibly long, as expected. The airline staff are trying to get the line routed out the door and down the front curb so as not to block the check-in counters and kiosks. So, as they do this, the woman behind me starts screeching, "I have a 10:45 flight, I need to get to the front of the line!" The first agent smiles and advises that the line is moving pretty quickly and she should be fine, but that they will be going down the line and calling people who have the next flight. (By the way, the lady is pushing one of those airport baggage carts you rent for like a quarter with her one bag perched on top. The bag is a small roller bag - you know, the kind with wheels that rolls all by itself. Just like that cart does, only for free? Just so you know the mental giant I am dealing with here.)

A few minutes later, another agent comes down and calls out, "Is there anyone trying to catch the 10:00 flight to Cincinnati?" to which Screechy shouts, "I have a flight at 10:45." Agent smiles and says, "No, only looking for 10:00 right now, but you should be fine, don't worry." A few people are pulled and ushered to the front, and the line moves forward a little.

About 5 minutes later, agent comes looking for anyone needing to make the 10:15 flight to Honolulu. Screechy again with the , "I have a 10:45 flight." This scene is repeated when they call for the passengers for the 10:20 flight to New York and she again says, "I have a 10:45 flight!" OK, what part of this don't you get, lady? They call a time. You are not that time. Just shut up until they call your time.

She then starts bitching that if she misses this flight, someone will pay. The guy behind her, trying to get her to settle down a bit, engages her in a little conversation and mentions that she should be fine and how it stresses him out too when he is late getting to the airport. She then snipes at him that it wasn't her fault she was late, there was traffic. In LA. Can you imagine?? So, he goes, "Oh, is it your first time visiting here?" and she looks at him like he is the crazy one and goes "NO! I LIVE HERE!" Where here? In a box with no electricity in the middle of Illiterate City??

Within a few more minutes we get to the head of the line, have our boarding passes and ID's checked, and go up the escalator to the main queues. Screechy somehow gets ahead of me and as she clears security, she takes the time to complain to the agent about how long this has taken and that she will be writing a letter if they have caused her to miss her flight. It is now about 10:00, so she has plenty of time to make it the 100 yards to her gate

Since I have some time to kill, I stop at the restroom, make a phone call, and browse through the I Love LA shop on the way to the gate. About 10:20, I stop for some coffee and who do I see, sitting there at the coffee shop sipping her $5 coffee, yapping on her cellphone and acting like she has all the time in the world? Since they close out flights at 15 minutes prior to departure, she had all of 5 minutes to make her flight.

I really don't know if she made it or not, but I'm sure that if she didn't, she will be writing a letter to some one.

Just as soon as she figures out how to work a pencil.