What's in a Name?

Each year it keeps getting more and more difficult to remember the names of the characters on the TV shows I watch on a regular basis. It wasn't too long ago that I could tell you the full name and address of every character on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, even the recurring day players. I could tell you the name of every doctor, nurse, desk clerk and administrator on ER, as well as who they had been romantically involved with and how many times they themselves had been a patient in the ER. I knew every partner Andy Sipowitz ever had and how they died (heart disease, murdered, career suicide.) And although I can still tell you about every character on Lost and their elaborate back-story and interconnections, the names of most characters over the last season or two are just not sinking in.

I find myself saying things like "So then House was snotty to the Australian intern and the girl intern that likes him, then he told the black intern that use to be on ER that the patient du jour probably had malaria and then he had a meeting with the guy from Dead Poet's Society, his boss that was Rob Lowe's hooker on West Wing and Sela Ward." or "it was really funny when Xander was in the kitchen with the British guy and Freaks and Geeks guy and Will from Alias came in and yelled at them all.

Even my friends and coworkers seem to have the same problem. Just the other day I overheard this conversation - "So they arrested the whore doctor for being the Carver, but then the slutty detective got slashed so they had to let him go. But you just know that the replacement doctor is probably the Carver. Oh, and since the married doctor is divorced now, do we need a new name for him?"

Maybe it is because there are so many similar shows. Everything is basically a crime solving procedural or something set in a hospital. I've been watching CSI for six years and I still don't know all their names. I figure I'm OK if I can keep their cities apart. I identify the people on Commander in Chief by calling them the names of the West Wing characters with the same positions. So, President Whoever Geena Davis is playing is called lady President Bartlett and her First Husband is Mr. Abby and her press secretary is young CJ Craig and so on.

And don't even get me started with the reality shows. They doubled the team members on the Amazing Race by making it a family addition. Who can keep up with that? They've started recycling people on Survivor, so at least I'm starting to remember their names the second time around. And please, there are just way too many people trying to be an Apprentice to either Donald or Martha, and they all look the same to me. I was actually kind of glad when the Donald fired four of them at one time, cause it made it a little easier to tell the men that were left apart. (For the record, there is young guy, gay guy, black guy, short guy and annoying-rambling guy left.)

Of course, it could just be that I'm getting old and forgetful….. No, that can't be it. I'msure that I'm just as young and mentally sharp as I ever was.

Just ask my friends. You know, the sweet one, the sarcastic one, the one that lives down the street, the one at work, the real etate agent and his ex, the gay couple, the one that lives in Texas, the cousin one and the one that married my brother ole what's-his-name.